The Confidence To Be Successful
"With confidence, you have won before you have started." Marcus Garvey
It is notable to me how many of my clients lack the complete confidence to allow themselves to think they can truly be successful. All of my clients have some skills, some knowledge and some experience, but I notice that we spend quite a bit of time talking about the mental approach that it takes to really excel in what you do and want to do in the future. Even clients with obvious amounts of “the right stuff” will doubt that they deserve to among the greats in their industry or even their own lives.
I don’t believe it is a secret that confidence is one of the key attributes a person needs to excel in any endeavor. And no amount of telling someone can assure that they will see the light and suddenly be filled with self-courage. So often what I end up doing is breaking this puzzle down into smaller bites that we can discuss and work on during our coaching relationship.
"Have confidence in everything. No matter what it is that you're doing, know that you can do it better than anyone." O'Shea Jackson, Jr.
Bite #1. What is it in your past that causes you to lack confidence moving forward? What will it take for you to move on from that? What will it take for you to forgive yourself? Often just the act of telling the story that explains why you lack confidence is the first step. And there is ALWAYS a story. What happened in your youth or with your parents or at school or your first job that sapped your confidence? Once this is out in the open then we can start to look at this for what it really is…the past. And leading a successful life is all about the present and the future. It’s all we really have. As a matter of fact, you owe it to yourself to live your life for your present, your future, your family, your friends and most importantly…yourself. Easier said than done, but living your life with baggage from the past is a waste of your life and unfair to you and the people around you.
"It doesn't matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going." Brian Tracy
Bite #2. To be successful, you need to be constantly moving forward. And making forward headway builds confidence. And more importantly, constantly moving forward, even doing things you don’t want to or have the confidence to, but doing them because you know you should, is one of the pillars of what it takes to be successful and gain confidence. This is a huge part of what a coach helps you do. Make a plan and execute the plan. It’s simple in many ways, but not when nagging doubt and fear creep into your brain. Sometimes the answer is a simple as just doing what is needed anyway. Keep moving forward and refuse to stop until you achieve your goal. If you really stick to this, it builds your confidence quickly!
"Confidence comes with maturity, being more accepting of yourself." Nicole Scherzinger
Bite #3. To be successful, you need the right attitude. And confidence is an attitude. In my last article I wrote that “stress is a choice”. Well, so is confidence. As you can imagine, there are tricks that can help you with this and the one I use every day is to do positive affirmations and goals, out loud, every single morning. The act of telling yourself you are worthy and the best and that you will succeed can train your brain to have the drive and courage to move forward toward success. And please note, I’m not just talking about financial success, but success in any part of your life, such as time with your children, eating better foods or having better a deeper relationship with your partner.
This is a subject that entire books are written about, but I wanted to share some thoughts that have formed while working with clients recently. It turns out that confidence is usually the key ingredient you need for success more than skill, knowledge and experience. Feel free to write or call me if you’d like to discuss in detail.